Loving Ray
by Allie-Dee
Summary: Mild vilence and cursing. 'No one...NO ONE can take Lily! NO one' he screamed, in a high-pitched tone. Grabbing the young man's arm, which seemed about 23, he thrust him into the tree near them. Lily saw blood run out of the back of his head. [one-shot]


**Loving Ray  
**By Allie-Dee

**Disclaimer:** Well, I still don't own RFR. Maybe in a few years I'll get a billion dollars and buy it. Maybe. Maybe not.

* * *

"So, you think you can just take her? No one...NO ONE can take Lily! NO one!" he screamed, in a high-pitched tone. Grabbing the young man's arm, which seemed about 23, he thrust him into the tree near them. He slid to the ground, as Ray's breath went in and out. Lily saw blood run out of the back of his head.  
  
Running over to him, Lily Randall shouted, "Travis! Are you okay?" She brushed his hair out of his eyes.  
  
His eyelids opened, after a moment or two. "I'm fine." Travis Strong got up, shaking and then glared at Ray. But as he stared at him, his old best friend, a pity face came too. "Ray, whatever happened to you? Why did I have to react so jealously?" Reaching for the back of his head, he wobbled away, leaving Lily standing there with Ray just breathing in and out.  
  
"Ray! W-why, why on earth did you hurt Travis? He's...he's only a friend! I promise you. I promise you," she repeated over and over, trying to convince him. Then, without warning, Ray turned his head to hers, raising it as it tilted. Then he smiled. But it wasn't a real smile. It was a fake smile.  
  
_Why are you smiling?_ She wanted to yell to him. But their eyes met. Her scared to death ones reached his lifeless pair.  
  
Ray Brennan's fake smile started to fade. The cold expression returned. His eyes bored into her stiff and frightened face. He finally said, in an icy tone. "I'm sorry." Small, little phrases that hold more than you expect were hard for him to say. Other people could say it, like that, without any problem, without any looking back at the meaning. Ray has never looked at a sentence that easy. No one knows where the kind hearted, laughable boy went.  
  
Turning to leave, his legs walked in an orderly manner. Lily looked as he walked away, falling to the ground of the park. Her hands held her face, damping her fingers. Little tears came out red eyes. She couldn't hold them in anymore.

* * *

The shadows of the Underground twisted and turned, making lights come in a small part of it. It sat upon the place of Ray and Lily talking. She was telling him of her decision of Travis or Ray. Ray was expecting her to pick Travis...but...something enterily new happened.  
  
"I love you Ray. I love you so much. Will you be my boyfriend?" Lily said, in a cheerful voice. Her smile went well with her bright eyes. You could tell she was happy. You could tell her day was going as planned.  
  
A shocked Ray stepped back into a wall of the Underground. That was unexpected, he thought. But her face, her welcoming face told him he needed to say something. "Lily, I love you too," he whispered. Then, he put his head near hers and then gave her a kiss. A 5 second, thoughtful, kiss.  
  
And that was all it took.

* * *

No...no...they all think I'm dumb. Not good enough for Lily. Not good enough for anyone. But is it true? Am I not good enough for Lily? I can't be...I'm...I'm not dumb. Lily's _my_ girlfriend. She loves me. She loves _me_. She _has_ too. She can't love anyone else. 19-year-old Ray started to feel a rage come inside him as the door of his room opened. He was looking at his hands, in a small position. Feeling alone.  
  
"Ray?" a small, female voice asked softly. "Are you alright? Don't...you want to go the dance tonight? Do you feel up to it?"  
  
No...he thought, in an angry tone. She walked over to him and sat on the bed. "No..." he mumbled, but then said in a loud voice, "NO. You can't leave me! You can't find anyone else. I love you Lily! You can't...find...someone else." Rushing tears came up and out of his eyes.  
  
Lily at first didn't know what to do, but then whispered, "No, Ray, I'm not going to find someone else. I-I love you too." His head settled on her shoulder, as she rubbed his hair, then felt a large bump on his head.  
  
Everyone still never forget that day.

* * *

If only Lily didn't go to her grandmothers; if only the boys didn't go in the forest.  
  
_If only._  
  
The young 16 year old stepped on a log, overlooking a river. Walking carefully across, he reached the end and smiled at his friends Robbie and Travis. "Told ja I could do it!" he said in a matter-of-factly way.  
  
"It wasn't like we couldn't do it!" Robbie McGrath protested. Ray just threw his hands in the air, shrugged his shoulders and gave him a 'Just Barely' grin.  
  
There was a silence as they walked through the forest, stepping on twigs and jumping over logs and large rocks. Finally, Travis broke the silence, with a starter of a conversation that should have never happened. If only he didn't say those five words. "So, how're you and Lily?"  
  
Feeling tension in the air, Robbie sensed they shouldn't have started to talk about it. "Oh, they're probably being all great and happy Trav. We shouldn't--" but Ray interrupted him.  
  
If only if he didn't.  
  
"We're doing great," he bragged. "I mean, we've gone out on dates, but we're really hitting it off. It's like our friendship...but something more." He paused as they came up to a cliff, overlooking the whole forest. "I'm sorry, Travis," he looked at him with a smile. "that it didn't work for you two."  
  
If only he didn't say those words.  
  
That last comment stung in Travis' heart. "Ray Brennan," he said as Ray turned to him. "She's going to get sick of that smart alec-ness of yours one day. You're not good enough for her! She's going to come to me, not you! She's going to leave you alone! She's not going to love you again!"  
  
And then, in a moment, his hand reached out and pushed him. Ray stepped backwards in shock and tripped over a rock, making him tumble off the cliff. Robbie screeched as he ran over to the ledge, watching as the boy go down and down and down until a crash was heard.  
  
"Oh my God! Oh my God!"  
  
If only...  
  
"Oh no! I never meant to..."  
  
_If only..._  
  
"Call 911! Hurry! We have to get down there!"  
  
If only that day never happened.  
  
If it didn't...what would life would be like today?

* * *

He lived alone, Ray did. Lily was still his girlfriend, and lived 2 minutes away. Some days, he often remembered the hours he laid in the hospital bed. Remembering what the doctor said, about his injury.  
  
"He fell quite a bit, and the trees cushioned his fall, but his head, it hit a rock and his brain seemed to take a lot of harm. He'll live...but, his head, it might have some trouble doing the things that were normal to him. He might act different..."  
  
And he remembered what he felt when he woke up, recalling what a man...Travis...someone said. "She's going to get sick of that smart alec-ness of yours one day. You're not good enough for her! She's going to come to me, not you! She's going to leave you alone! She's not going to love you again!"  
  
Ray could remember some things...but the only person he truly remembered was Lily and that sentence and how much he loved her. And how much he knew she couldn't leave him, no matter what.  
  
One day, he woke up screaming, "NO! She can't...she can't leave me. Lily loves me! She can't...leave...me..." The nurse could barely keep him down.  
  
A month later, he came out of the hospital, remembering only a few people, hazily. But when he saw Lily...he remembered every smile, how she talked...he couldn't forget her no matter what.  
  
When he saw her with other guys, jealously took over. Ray threw the boys down, kicking and punching them, yelling in their ear, "You can't have her!"  
  
Some doctors thought he was becoming insane...but whenever they tried to help him; he almost killed a doctor saying that he was normal. He wasn't 'weird' or 'different'. He couldn't be. If he were...Lily wouldn't love him.  
  
_No one_ would.  
  
At least that's what Ray believed.  
  
That's why Lily was always with Ray, always taking care of him. Even when she tried to talk to Robbie or Travis, in a friend-like way, Ray went ballistic.  
  
"You'll leave me!" he always cried. "You'll leave me! You'll leave me! No! NO!"  
  
So Lily never did.

* * *

"Ray," Lily said in barely over a whisper as she entered his apartment. "Ray?" the 26-year old put her coat on the rack and walked slowly around. Not in the kitchen. Not in the living room. She carefully opened the bedroom door. He was sitting there, with a knife in his hand, slitting his wrists, blood slowly running down.  
  
Shocked, she ran over to him. "Ray! What are you doing?" She grabbed the knife, but he didn't let her. He might have been injured, but he was strong. "Give it to me Ray.." tears started poring down her eyes. "Please..." she whispered. He saw her face, her make-up messed up and slowly gave her the knife.  
  
"Thank you," she mumbled. "What are you doing?" She put the knife on a desk and then sat down next to him, looking at the wrist.  
  
There was silence. "I keep remembering, Lily. I keep remembering of me falling. I'm supposed to be dead right? Right? I'm not alive. So why don't I just die to prove I am dead to all of you?" It didn't make any sense but Lily took his wrist, trying to get the blood to stop.  
  
"No...no Ray. You aren't dead. You're alive to me." she said, putting her head on his shoulder. "You are."  
  
They sat that way for an hour or so, just sitting there together. Lily's hair tickled Ray, and it made him happy inside. "Lily..."  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Will you please...promise me...you won't talk to Travis or any other guy again?"  
  
Lily took a breath and then said softly. "Fine Ray...I promise. I do promise."  
  
That promise didn't last long.

* * *

A few days later, Travis sat in the apartment lobby of Lily's. Lily searched for his face, found it and then rushed over. She whispered something and then Travis embraced her for a few minutes, telling her comforting stuff. Making her feel better.  
  
And Ray saw all this.  
  
He felt betrayed, he felt hurt. Why did Lily lie to him?  
  
Why was this rage coming into his mind?  
  
Ray ran over to them and then Lily spotted him. Travis did also. Their eyes widened.  
  
"WHY THE HELL DID YOU LIE TO ME LILY?! NO ONE CAN TAKE LILY AWAY FROM ME!" He reached for Lily's arm and then threw her into Travis. They fell backwards and Lily hit her neck on a chair.  
  
Lily whined in pain. Ray just stood there, looking at his hand. What had he just done? Travis gasped and tried to help Lily. Then people started crowding around. But Ray muted everyone else when Lily tried to speak. "R-Ray. I was just trying to get Travis to help you...I don't love him...I-I..o-only..love you..." then her eyes closed.  
  
"She's dead!" a woman shrieked in horror.  
  
"She's not dead," Travis corrected the woman screaming. "Only sleeping. We have to get her the hospital, though."  
  
They rushed her off, and she was put into a hospital bed. Ray sat next to her the whole time, touching her hair, making her feel comfortable.  
  
He was too taken in doing that, he didn't hear Travis come in. "Are you happy now Ray? You've hurt her. the doctor says she might stay in here for a while." Ray turned his head and looked at him, giving him a smile, silent smirk.  
  
"I feel slightly relieved. I don't have to worry of anyone taking her away. No one would want a wounded girl like her. She's all mine now." he gave a cold, coarse laugh. Travis shook his head in disbelief, with a little disgust and then walked away from the boy, as he went back to twirling her hair.  
  
But only 2 weeks later, Lily become sick. The small injury had turned into something larger.  
  
"I'm sorry. I've done all I can." the doctor said, as sweat pored down Lily's head, small tears came out.  
  
_No.  
_  
"Lily!" Ray yelled. "Lily, no, you can't leave."  
  
"I'm s-so-sorry Ray," she forced out. "I have to leave you...but always remember...I...I lo...love you...I've never wanted to forget you. I loved you more than anything...even at the hardest times. I love you Ray. I lov...e...y...yo...y..."  
  
"LILY!"

* * *

_  
Dead._  
  
_Gone._  
  
Lily's _dead._  
  
She's _gone_ and it's my fault. he thought, sitting on the bench in the park, crying. Why was I so jealous?  
  
Why did I constantly think I was going to be alone? Lily was going to be there? Why couldn't I let her have some freedom? WHY WAS I SO DUMB?! Why couldn't I see that she loved me, she truly loved me? Why couldn't I just be happy? Why couldn't I be _normal?_  
  
I was different than anyone else.  
  
I had someone, the best person in the world that loved me and I was never happy.  
  
But she_ loved_ me.  
  
She loved _me_.  
  
Why couldn't I see that? he thought.  
  
"Ray..." he heard a voice say, in the shadows. Travis. "It's not your fault."  
  
"No...it was my fault. I let her down. I was too overprotective." he mumbled sorrowfully. "I was and you and I both know it. I didn't let her live...even though she's beautiful like that."  
  
There was a pause then Travis spoke, walking over to him and sitting down next to him. "You know what she said to me that night, when you went out of control?"  
  
Ray didn't answer for a moment or so. "What?" he finally answered.  
  
"She said to me that it was hard loving Ray, but even though it was hard...she loved you. She loved you and she wanted to help you. She didn't want to leave you. If she was sick of you Ray, she would've gone away, not caring about you."  
  
"She loved me..." he whispered. "she loved me...and I couldn't figure that out.."  
  
"It's okay Ray. It's okay."  
  
There was a long silence.  
  
"Travis, were we friends before the...accident?" Ray asked.  
  
He looked surprised. "You don't remember?"  
  
"I remember some things, but it's hazy. Why didn't we hang out that much if we were friends?"  
  
"Well," he paused, not sure if should say it. "Lily. I loved Lily. And you did too."  
  
After a moment or two, Travis wish he didn't say he loved Lily. If it were just a few days ago, Ray would hurt him and beat him. Travis just saying the words I love Lily would make him go ballistic.  
  
Then, Ray looked at him, with a sad face. "I'm sorry," he said. "That it didn't work with you two." Those were the words he said that made Travis push him, made him so angry...made him want to punch him.  
  
But this time...it had more meaning. And Travis didn't get angry. Smiling softly at Ray, he said, what he should have said those years back, "Me too Ray. Me too."

* * *

Wahh!! I seriously CRIED writing that. Seriously. I bet you guys are gonna flame me that it's ANOTHER one-shot. I am soooo sorry. I promise (expect for having a really good idea I cant wait to write) that I'll write more chapters in the chapter stories. Okay? Okay.  
  
Um, so I hope you liked this. I was listening to sad music at the time and it was like 11:00, so I blame the school system if it sucks! Yeah...I promised you a Gold Paper chapter...crud. I'm sorry! SO SORRY! I have to make an essay on my relatives though and it'll take all weekend. Ugh. I'm freaking sorry.  
  
Allie 


End file.
